Aaron’s underwear. Hannah’s and Daniel’s. Mine. Clean. Dirty. New. Old. The underwear monster is firmly against discrimination. At first our undies were only stolen if we carelessly left them on the ground, or in a newly folded clothes pile we lazily didn’t put away.
As we caught on to the underwear monster though, we started making sure our undies were never, ever left out. As soon as they are folded, we put them away. When we get undressed for showers or baths, we put our undies high up, out of reach until it goes in the hamper afterwards.
For a while, due to our vigilance, our underpants were safe. But the underwear monster couldn’t resist. She brazenly found new ways of fuelling her underwear addiction. Despite the hamper being much taller than she is, she somehow managed to steal underpants without detection. Today alone, I’ve lost two pairs. They are now so full of holes that I had to put them in the bin.
When the kids forget to close their bedroom door, the underwear monster sneaks in, like a ninja in the night and snatches Hannah’s underwear from its home in a Dora the Explorer hanging pouch thing. I think it’s supposed to house shoes, but whatever, underwear fits there too.
There is no stopping the underwear monster, she is an addict and underwear is her crack.
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Copyright 2014 Sheri Thomson