The cup of tea I made this morning is sitting in the microwave, waiting to be consumed after it’s 3rd nuke of the day. I am only now brushing my teeth and it’s 11am. I haven’t showered today, and I’m living in my sweats. A lot of days dinner consists of something haphazardly thrown together such us eggs on toast because there is no time to make anything else. I’m in bed at 8pm. I refer to myself as Mommy or Mama, and to Aaron as Daddy, and then talk about myself in the third person. I am mom to an infant, the most rewarding, challenging job in the world. Below is a day in my life.
6am – Hannah is grizzling, “Mommy, I’m awake, please come and get me now!” I go in her room and she gives me a giant smile and squeals at me. I love it when she does that. I try to feed her but lately she much prefers to play before eating. Playing is much more fun then eating! She always does a giant poopy in the morning. After changing her, I lay her on her mat and so she can kick with her nappy off, one of her favourite activities. She babbles to me and blows raspberries as she kicks her little heart out. She does a snart (sneeze and fart at the same time) which produces projectile poo poo. Luckily I have laid an old magazine out from the bottom of the mat, and the poo lands on it. After having to scrub the carpet and my pants a few times, I’ve learned my lesson.
I put Hannah on her baby play gym mat thingy so she can bat at and grab the hanging toys and play with the giant plush caterpillar (ok, it’s really a centipede, but I don’t like centipedes, so I call it a caterpillar), and coloured rings that I lay on her belly. Of course they go straight to the mouth and receive lots of slobbery attention.
7am – booby time! She eats some then tries to be cheeky and looks at me with the most adorable blue eyes and gives me a cheeky little grin and starts telling me about her morning. I know I shouldn’t encourage her to be distracted during feeding time, but she is so cute, I just can’t resist smiling back at her and stroking her hair lovingly. She gives me an even bigger smile then goes back to feeding. She makes me smile. After she’s finished I wrap her up and she share’s with me her disgust at having to take a nap by voicing a large whinge as I wrap her in her bubba straight jacket. She has to have the special Houdini can’t get out of it wrap or she’ll manage to free her hands then startle herself awake when she hits herself in the face with them. I put her in her cot, put on her bubba nursery rhyme music, and then leave the room. I can hear her whinging for a while as I do the cleaning, but eventually she falls asleep. She’s not allowed out of her cot for 1 hour and 30 minutes. If she wakes up again, which she often does, I pat her belly until she falls back asleep.
Mmmm that cup of green tea sounds pretty good about now. I might sit down, drink some tea, and have a snack. I put the tea back in the microwave. I made it this morning, but haven’t had time to finish it. DING DING DING. Who made the finish noises on microwaves so loud? They obviously didn’t have a sleeping baby in the house. It seems when I’m trying to be quiet I become a super clutz. I drop cutlery, knock things of the table, trip over cords, you name it, I do it when trying to be quiet. Maybe I’m just super special.
I can see 3 people coming down the stairs outside in front of my house. KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK. They are knocking so loud I think the door might fall down. More importantly, they might wake up the bubba. Was it really necessary to knock that loud? They could clearly see me sitting on the couch sipping me tea when they came down the stairs. It’s not like they had to try to awaken me from a deep sleep or anything. Before I even realise it, I’ve jumped up, bounded to the door, and proceeded to crankily tell the intruders to be quiet, the baby is alseep. They ask me if I’ve heard of the “spiritual mother.” I say no and give them an I’m so not interested look. They don’t take the hint and keep going. “are you a christian?” they ask. Yes I am. “and you haven’t heard of the spiritual mother?” I think maybe I haven’t understood them properly as they don’t seem to speak english very well. “What?” I say (stupidly). They ask me if they can come in for 2 minutes to tell me about the spiritual mother. I say no and once again tell them to be quiet as my baby is sleeping. They don’t get the hint and won’t let up so I eventually have to shut the door in their face. My blinds are open so rather then have them still staring at me while standing next to my door, I also shut the blinds. Spiritual mother? Seriously, I don’t know what bible they are reading. Not once did they mention Jesus or even God. I decide to tape a note to the door to deter people from ever knocking so crazy loud again. “DO NOT KNOCK LOUDLY baby might be sleeping.” Problem hopefully solved.
Hannah starts crying. I go in there and try to calm her down to no avail. I pick her up and sit on my rocking chair. She starts farting and screaming. Sometimes I think that her farts burn her little bottom. I wonder what I ate last night to give her such a problem. She is fine after she gets all of her farts out. I didn’t eat chili or anything. Maybe it’s the broccoli. Grandma says that gives bubba gas. I let her out of her straight jacket and she looks me in the eyes and reaches her beautiful little hand up and starts touching my face. She sticks her fingers in my nose, mouth, ears, and touches my cheeks. We’re bonding, and it’s good, but her little bubba fingernails are scratching me so I put my finger next to her hand so she’ll grab it and forget about touching my face.
She looks at me and makes farting noises with her mouth. Slobber goes everywhere. She finds it hilarious and I laugh. The room is a lot darker then it used to be. I look towards the window and admire my handiwork. A couple of days ago I noticed that the sunlight was getting through the blinds and onto her cot. I found a cot blanket with teddy bears on it in the closet which is about the same size as the window, so I made a curtain out of it. I think it looks pretty good.
Hannah’s hungry, so I decide to feed her on the couch so I can use the computer. I still need to finish Grandma’s 80th birthday present. I’m making her a this is your life book filled with photos from when she was a baby until now, and then getting it printed in a hardcover book. I see a photo of Bubba and realise her ears are starting to stick out like mommy’s. Poor Bubba, she got the Beath ears. Hopefully she will get Daddy’s thick hair to cover her stick out ears. I think she will as she already has a mop of unruly curls.
4pm – uh oh, start of the “arsenic hour.” I take Hannah for a walk. We go up the huge hill near our house and my lungs burn. I’m very out of shape. We walk for an hour and I can feel my buns burning. They got a good workout with all the hills. I can’t wait until I get the 3 wheel pram from Grandma so I can go jogging with her and get into shape for summer. I may still have my linea nigra, but I’m still going to wear my bikini. Hannah loves going for walks.
5pm – I have to hold Hannah and walk around in the house as she is quite cranky in the afternoons. As I said, it’s “arsenic hour.” We play aeroplanes on the bed and she giggles. It’s a good distraction for a cranky bubba.
5:30 – I start to feed her but she keeps falling asleep so it takes a while. She’s so cute though, sometimes I find it hard to disturb her
6pm – Daddy’s home!!!!!!! My sleepy baby is suddenly full of life and gives Daddy a huge smile. He puts her on his shoulders and she holds on to his ears until they turn an unhealthy shade of purple. She loves riding on Daddy’s shoulders. He leans forward so I can kiss her cheek while she is on his shoulders and she giggles. I change her nappy and put her pj’s on. She is outgrowing them and her toes barely fit into the feet of the pajamas. She has the cutest big fat rolls on her thighs. I think she is going to be a fat baby like Mommy was. I give her the other booby.
7pm – bedtime. I wrap her up and put her in her cot. I turn the music on and read to her from her book of bible stories. She wants to tell her own stories though and starts babbling really loudly. Daddy is laughing in the other room. I leave the room and don’t hear a peep from her until 3am when I give her a feed. Then everything starts all over at 6am.
Other things that happened this week: We celebrated Aaron and Grandma’s birthdays (they share a birthday) by going out to yum cha for lunch and eating a very rich brownie cake that I made. Grandma cried when she saw the book we made her for her birthday. Aaron got something like 8 more games for his birthday. I think that means we have a hundred and thirty something now.